Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Oh sweet technology how much I missed you

So I finally got my computer to work (applause). But while it was gone I traveled to the past, to where the Internet was not an everyday thing, so I guessed it was around 20 years ago.

My first reaction was to crawl up in the fetal position and cry when I realized that the Internet was gone. But don't worry, this didn't last enough, after the first couple days of doing this I remembered, Oh!!! I can use the computer without Internet, suck that one cloud based OS, (Pst your computer burned down)... that leads me to sway while covering my ears with my hands and closing my eyes.

Ok that was not what we would call a good start, but hey 20 years ago people lived in caves and drove donkey powered cars... right? So I decided not to go outside my new (old?) cave afraid I would find a dinosaur walking around. Nobody likes to be eaten by raptors you know, those things can open doors... that is like saying you mess with us you get fkd up while you're sleeping.

It saddens me how their technology is better aswell

After days of isolation trying to resist, I had to do it. Go outside and fight the wild to collect food, it sounds easier than it actually is, 20 years ago people didn't shop on eBay and stuff, they had to go to the forests, kill a bear to steal his honey while running away from the raptors.

Lucky for me I found a bunny eating berries outside my cave, looks like the dinner is here! So rushed in and beated it up to steal its berries, it ran away but not without putting up a fight. Bunnies can be dangerous creatures, if you give them a change they will fk you up as hard as the raptors would, so when approaching one, never give it your back or you will regret it.

This kitty learned the lesson the hard way

The night fell and it started to get cold, I couldn't just hug my overheating computer to warm myself so I decided to make a fire...  but how?!?! I can't search about it on wikihow, so I just grabbed a big grenade from the WWII that was happening outside and started hitting it with a rock, at least that is how people do it on the movies. A click, -damn it-, then a boom.

Oh shi~

What happened after? I don't remember. How are you reading this? I don't know. But, if you ever go back 20 years in the past, bring your laptop.